Disconsolateness

 Yoooo having GERD and constantly vomiting whilst having to cook on the first night of eid IS NO FUNNN

You know what always motivate and drives me? Seeing hardworking people. People often say things like "Kerja bagai nak rak buat apa?", "kerja sampai tengah tengah malam usaha beria bagai buat susah kan diri je buat apa?" and etc but for me, I look highly to those who work so hard in their life.  No matter if you're young or a mother, I hold immense respect for all. Yet, for mothers, my admiration deepens. The role of a mother isn't one everyone can fulfill. The sacrifices made, whether it's personal time or rest, elevate you to an unparalleled level. Such dedication deserves the highest respect and honor.  Seeing people who stay up late and still work just drives me to be more hardworking myself. Though I still get worried and concerned seeing people who don't have enough rest, it's still something that I actually look up to. I guess my concern and worrying mostly comes from how I know my body will react. I used to not sleep for 3 days straight an...

You are going to realize it one day, that happiness was never about your job or your degree or being in a relationship. Happiness was never about following in the footsteps of all those who came before you. It was never about being like the others. One day you are going to see it. That happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it chooses to go. Happiness was always about being kinder to yourself. It was always about embracing the person you are becoming. One day you will understand that happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself. That your happiness was never in the hands of others. One day you will realize that true happiness comes from within. And no external factors can ever define it. It was always about you. Till the end.

 There’s something about letting myself feel vulnerable and transparent here in this blog that just, idk, calms me? Maybe because i know no one cares to read my blog so I can casually write and tell my stories to the world w/o being scared of getting judge or get my words taken out of context. Theres too much spotlight and attention given on twitter and instagram in which i think, are the reason why i rarely open it nowdays. But blog is where people forgot the existence of it so it’s more private and intimate. In which, I think is nice. I have always been a fan of keeping my actual life private cause I dont like drama.

  A month from now, you are going to celebrate your 27th birthday Ain Izzaty.  Alhamdulillah, life has unfolded as a breathtaking rollercoaster ride, each twist and turn brimming with lessons and blessings. Very much grateful for every single step of the way and the people I had intertwined with. Today, I pen not a reflection on my past nor a testament to the transformation of my faith but a letter to myself on the cusp of 27—a journey I wish to revisit in the years to come, to remember who I was at this pivotal moment. As I write this letter to myself, I am reminded of the journey's beauty, the resilience and the transformative power of gratitude. Turning 27 may be scary for that 20-year-old me in the past. But walking on this road now, I would honestly say, I am really looking forward for my 30s. Reaching 27, life feels neither scary nor exhausting. Work? You are now in charge of so many new things. From being an editor, you now also have taken on the responsibility of overs...

Im honestly glad that I started writing on here again. For some reason, writing used to be one of my therapies. Admittedly, I'm not the most eloquent. I often find myself elaborating too much, which can make my words seem lengthy and, to some, dull.  Often time people would consider me boring.  It's been ages since I last visited this blog. My journey with writing began in high school, though I ended up archiving all those early posts due to their embarrassing nature. It's so cringey I, myself couldnt stand it sksksks. I've always found a certain beauty in language. Writing transports me to a place of profound peace and tranquility. While I wouldn't consider myself poetic, I do harbor a wish to embrace poetry more fully. T o me, words wield immense power  sebab kata kata itu doa dan doa adalah senjata mukmin. Do you notice how a single word can change the person mood for the whole day?  The way a simple compliment can illuminate a stranger's day fascinates me. ...

Was watching Omar Suleiman newest video and there’s this one part where he said there’s a scholar who told his wife “isn’t it beautiful how 50 000 years before the heavens and the earth was created your name was written next to mine?” - THATS THE PINNACLE OF ROMANCE!!! The lover girl inside of me is screaminggggggg omg thats THE epitome of romance. Damn that’s beautiful.