Boring life update.

Hey. Hows it going? It has really been awhile since the last time I've updated huh? A lot had happened since then. Who would've thought that we would be living in a pandemic. Crazy huh? Well, as crazy as the world is right now, my life isnt any different either. 

Things are getting out of hand for the past years and its getting even crazier when this pandemic strikes. Im currently going to therapy. Yeah. Its a lot. I've been diagnosed with a couple of problems and disorder and had to go through therapy and all that jazz. As usual, I had a lot of sudden outburst and random breakdowns at the most inconvenient times. I used to cope with it a bit by tweeting about my feelings and ranting it on and on on my private twitter but not anymore. I find it rather hard to even talk about whats going on in my life. I cried every single time I walked out of my psychiatrist and psychologist office. Yeah, that kinda sucks. I still dont know the roots of my problem tbh but maybe, just maybe, deep down, I knew, but im just being denial? idk. I really dont. Ouh yeah, I wore braces now. Kinda sucks cause Im not really used to it yet and biting on to food is so freaking annoying cause ITS HARD???? Like whenever Im trying to bite or tear food using my teeth like pizza or bread, its kinda painful. NO ONE TOLD ME HOW ANNOYINGLY PAINFUL IT IS WHEN YOU WANTED TO BITE THINGS? pfft.

Anyway, the reason why Im currently here is that, my life is actually falling apart atm. I've been crying for the past 3 days straight. I dont think my eyes can take it anymore. I have this immensely heavy feelings on my chest. Like its so heavy I feel like im actually suffocating in it. Might write something poetic later. idk yet. I hope I can. I dont know what is bothering me but I just feel heavy. Heavy and sad. Like I can cry and scream on top of my lungs but it wouldnt still be enough. Theres this unbearable feelings and emotions bundled up and screaming to get out but stuck. Like something is hanging on to it and dont want to let it go. Like its trap. Trap deep, deep inside. Its falling apart, I can sense that its about to falll completely apart but theres nothing else I can do. Like, its hopeless to even do anything. 

Im just sad. So, so sad. Extremely sad. I feel hopeless. 


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