Disconsolateness

I just got the news. The doctor decided not to do the operation cause it’s too risky. They said even if he still undergoes the surgery, improvement pun dlm 2% tu pun kalau dia manage to come out from the ICU safe and sound. kalau buat surgery mmg akan masuk ICU. So doctor advice to not do the surgery so his life akan remain slow and mundane like how he is now. But he wont have much time left.  Lagi sebak sbb he’s been keeping this from all of us. Bila tanya what did the Dr said, he’ll say semua okay je. The only way we knew about it sbb tadi abang I ikut dia masuk bilik consultation doc kalau tak dia mmg takkan tahu. My mom still have no idea about this and we dont know how to break it to her. I myself dont know how to handle this alone. For the first time ever, I know I can’t handle this alone at all. I dont even know to whom I can even share how heartbroken and sad I am now.