Disconsolateness

27th. Grateful for all the people I am surrounded by. Grateful for the life I am living and grateful for whatever falls during my whole year of living, be it the good ones or the bad ones. Grateful for all the duas that have accompanied me throughout this whole journey, especially my mother’s dua. For those whom I have hurt or left with any bittersweet feelings along the way, I truly apologize. And to those whom my actions may have caused a tremendous amount of hurt, I am just one text away and always willing to listen and be confronted. Each birthday serves as a gentle reminder to always embrace the journey that lies ahead. 27 seems like such a long time, but looking back, I think I'm just starting. Finding solace in God’s planning is so freeing. There are, of course, times where I am too hesitant or impatient about His planning, but slowly, I'm trying not to be. Focusing on what's important and trying to achieve as much as I can as an individual. As much as I have changed...

Currently sitting in Anati’s room while they are outside in the hall. They surprised me by having like a small bbq party at the sungai for my 27th, in which I absolutely love and touched by. But as much as I am glad and happy, Im sitting in this room trying not to cry. But I really don’t want to ruin anybody’s mood and being the party poopper so I just hide away and bottle up this sadness. They spend so much of their time and energy for this surprise and I appreciate it so so much. I don’t think letting them know that I am sad would be a good choice. I don’t want to ruin this for then.

 Happy 27th Birthday Ain Izzaty. This year, Im not asking much. Only the improvement of papabear’s health. Significantly. Aminn Ya Rabb :/