I’ve been sitting in this car alone crying for the past 1 hour non stop. My nose is about to fall off from all the snort. Am I really going to lose my father soon? Is this really it? I can’t possibly tell any of my friends that I am sad. Sabtu ni, 27 april Nizz nak tunang pastu the next day semua nak gi mandi sungai sbb dah alang alang kumpul. Takkan nak ruin their mood pula. Kesian semua orang nak have fun and catch up apa bagai.  I dont want to be the party pooper and ruin it for everyone. Plus, semua pun ada isu and masalah masing masing. 

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Kalau Allah permudahkan, betul lah tu. Kalau tak, ada lah sebab nya. When He said yes, it’s a yes and when He said no, it’s a no. Theres always a reason behind it. Maybe it’s due to me maybe it’s not but whichever it is, be accepting that things doest work out my way is the only option. Having zero explanation on why it happened the way it happened sucks. The fact that I was never worth it enough for any sort of explanation sucks. And it sucks even more when this wasn’t the first rodeo. In whatever case letting this go is the last option. Dah orang tak suka, kita pandai pandai faham lah to disappear from their life. In Allah, I put all my trust in and may He guide me to change and improve to be a better woman and a better muslim. 
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