Its December. I'm almost done with my first semester. Its been one hell of a ride. Imma keep that part to myself sbb tah tak rasa nk tulis so...... lol
Life update. Changed my meds. To a whole new dosage. So yup, thats interesting. Its been months. Things have changed. Alot. But the feeling is still there so thats fucked up. Studies. Not as great. Still that same old dumb bitch. Appearance wise, masih sloppy and fat and disgusting. Breakouts on the face, constantly, so yup, basically getting uglier day by day. Good news is, im surrounded by great people, great acquaintance and great friends. Kinda grateful for the things I have now.
Now, I wanna talk about my heartbreaks. Its been months. At times, the pain still felt like it was just yesterday. Sometimes, I'm lost. Well actually, most of the time. Pulang has been my anthem for the last week. Kept on repeating it again and again. The song, the lyrics, it hits so close to home. Sometime all we need is a closure. But will it be enough? Will the closure be enough for me to finally say I've moved on without any hesitation? To finally let my feelings free. To end the fire that kept on lurking and destroying every other emotions that sets foot in my cold dark heart. When. When will anything be enough. When will time heal. When will this acid rain stops pouring. When will the toxicity air stops spreading. When. Im tired. Im tired of having to go through the pain every single day. Im exhausted. At times, I wonder, will I ever heal? Will I ever get better. Will the pain ever goes away. Sometimes, when you are hurt so much, you eventually stop feeling hurt. Your mind and your body just stop feeling it. You somehow cope with it. Isnt that sad? That you just eventually have to live with it? To live with the pain.
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