Disconsolateness

She’s a language that can’t be speak but still can be read. 

Im in a state where all I want to do is, be grateful. Even for the smallest things. Even for the simplest things. I want to be the one who forgive easily and to let go of things, to never hold grudges and be kind to others. May He reward me with so much more in this dunya and akhirah. 

"Selagi kita hidup ni, adalah lah rezeki dekat dunia ni. Kalau dah habis rezeki dekat dunia ni, tuhan akan panggil kita balik"

Mannn do I love hosting. Theres something about hosting people over that just warms my heart. Knowing that it would be a place where people will rekindle back their friendship or any kind of ship just feels nice to me. Ni lah salah satu sebab why I want to work hard and earn more money. So that I can always host people and make my place as a place where my friends can come over for food and comfort. Inshaallah one day, a proper place specifically to host homeless and people who dont have enough to find good food and comfort. A place where kids can find not just food, but good, tasty, home-cooked meal. 

“Make dua, even if you think everything has been decided and nothing can be done. Duas has the power to change qadr. Make dua until it becomes your reality” - and I find that to be so powerful.

Maybe Allah would crosses our path again in the future and maybe that time, we are at a better place to receive and give out those kind of care and love. Maybe when we crosses path again, things would have been easier and more clear for us. And even if it’s not, that would still be okay. God has his own reasoning. I pray the best and nothing but the best for you. Moga tuhan permudahkan segala urusan dunia dan akhirat dan diberikan kesihatan yang berpanjangan hendaknya. Aminn

Kalau Allah permudahkan, betul lah tu. Kalau tak, ada lah sebab nya. When He said yes, it’s a yes and when He said no, it’s a no. Theres always a reason behind it. Maybe it’s due to me maybe it’s not but whichever it is, be accepting that things doest work out my way is the only option. Having zero explanation on why it happened the way it happened sucks. The fact that I was never worth it enough for any sort of explanation sucks. And it sucks even more when this wasn’t the first rodeo. In whatever case letting this go is the last option. Dah orang tak suka, kita pandai pandai faham lah to disappear from their life. In Allah, I put all my trust in and may He guide me to change and improve to be a better woman and a better muslim.