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And for some reason, I still couldn’t shake off this feeling. This time, it feels like it’s rooted in. It feels, different. Like it’s making its own nest. Lying down it’s lair and just, making the hole as it sanctuary. Filling it up w everything that it needs to make it cozy and homey for it to stay. For a long time. Loneliness really is something I just have to carry around with me everywhere huh. But I have to be careful enough not to let it shown out in the world so no one would know.  Ever since I was a child up till my old days, things really haven’t change that much. I really thought it would. I really did. 
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She’s a language that can’t be speak but still can be read. 
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Im in a state where all I want to do is, be grateful. Even for the smallest things. Even for the simplest things. I want to be the one who forgive easily and to let go of things, to never hold grudges and be kind to others. May He reward me with so much more in this dunya and akhirah. 
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"Selagi kita hidup ni, adalah lah rezeki dekat dunia ni. Kalau dah habis rezeki dekat dunia ni, tuhan akan panggil kita balik"
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Mannn do I love hosting. Theres something about hosting people over that just warms my heart. Knowing that it would be a place where people will rekindle back their friendship or any kind of ship just feels nice to me. Ni lah salah satu sebab why I want to work hard and earn more money. So that I can always host people and make my place as a place where my friends can come over for food and comfort. Inshaallah one day, a proper place specifically to host homeless and people who dont have enough to find good food and comfort. A place where kids can find not just food, but good, tasty, home-cooked meal. 
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“Make dua, even if you think everything has been decided and nothing can be done. Duas has the power to change qadr. Make dua until it becomes your reality” - and I find that to be so powerful.
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Maybe Allah would crosses our path again in the future and maybe that time, we are at a better place to receive and give out those kind of care and love. Maybe when we crosses path again, things would have been easier and more clear for us. And even if it’s not, that would still be okay. God has his own reasoning. I pray the best and nothing but the best for you. Moga tuhan permudahkan segala urusan dunia dan akhirat dan diberikan kesihatan yang berpanjangan hendaknya. Aminn
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